It's Just a Crush

Yes, I think fear should not keep me from doing things. However, if I wasn't afraid then it would be much easier.
I liken my crush on the board much to any crush I would have on a boy. Take my guy friend for example. I can totally talk to him, flirt it up, call him, pretty much anything and I know he wouldn't think I'm wierd (well maybe he would, but he likes me anyway). When I have a crush on a boy though it is vastly different. Take my most recent crush. We went on a date and all of a sudden I have a hard time figuring out how my cell phone works. I stare at the reflection in the mirror with careful inspection. Do I talk too much? Not enough? Should I have asked him out? Did I come off too strong?
That's how crushes are. I've built him up in my mind and in turn loose all ability to be myself. It has really been more trouble than I could imagine. I like it when I date someone and feel comfortable in my own skin. It has happened. My problem is this is too much of a crush. Somewhere I started doubting myself.
I'm outgoing, funny, creative and any guy who is worth my time would see that. But if not than I will just move along.

So in response to Dragon Lady's comment about me missing an opportunity to go to a Board Party, well quite frankly I might not have been able to handle it. It's likely I would have been too frozen with anxiety to have even been myself.
It's just a crush.